The millihelen is sometimes jokingly defined as the scientific unit of human beauty. This derives from the legend of Helen of Troy as alluded to in Christopher Marlowe's The Tragical History of Doctor Faustus, "Was this the face that launched a thousand ships...?"  The millihelen is therefore the degree of beauty that can launch one ship.

Beheld. Measured. Manipulated. Since the era of Pythagoras and Greek philosophy, this has been the order in which we relate to beauty. We pout in front of bathroom mirrors, we seethe at the enormity of our noses and – now - we even plead with Jennifer Aniston’s cosmetic surgeon to take our case.

 

There’s no wonder that the onset of beauty-centric reality shows have inspired a brand new fixation on the intricacies of the external. One particular show from Hades is the all new, highly irritating ABC show intended to replace Beauty and The Geek. Drum roll, please…True Beauty.

 

It hardly needs the fanfare for it is purely an excuse for Tyra Banks to regurgitate and re-package the pseudo- altruistic message she gives the girls every week in the judging room on Top Model. If she’s not spouting the “true beauty lies within” line every stinkin’ week, then she can’t actually justify the career  - characterized by the perfect hair, teeth, weight, bone structure - that made her millions.

 

As her co-producer, Ashton Kutcher’s attempting to bounce back from the earlier mentioned beauty show that bombed in its first season. So, why not jump on the Bankable Productions bandwagon? It’s already cranked out two of the top-rated reality-based shows on TV.  Ashton, in all honesty, your Beauty and the Geek show was hardly as painful.

 

The premise for True Beauty is this. A group of so-called gorgeous guys and girls are chosen to live together in a Los Angeles mansion. They believe they are participating in a beauty contest that is judged solely on their outward appearance, which is mostly true.

 

While producers are hoping to sneak in random tests of the contestants’ moral fiber throughout the competition, approximately 45 of the 60 minutes is dedicated to reinforcing the common theory that maintains beauty as the external indicator that things and people are say, copascetic. As it asserts, most people judge physically attractive human beings to be good, both physically and on deeper levels.

 

“I’ve experienced it myself.  Airline attendants, retail associates, coffee shop baristas, even my student. They’re all nicer to pretty people,” said Milka Denis, math teacher from Miami, Florida. “I know when I look good, I get the treatment I deserve.”

 

In the first episode of True Beauty, idiot producers pit contestants against one another in a visit to a cosmetic surgeon who has espoused the real-life scientific unit of the millihelen.

 

The judges, former MTV VJ Vanessa Minnillo , supermodel Cheryl Tiegs and former Top Model judge Nole Marin, eliminated one person that week after secretly observing the behavior of the contestants when the surgeon was out of the room and other contestants’ files were left in plain sight. When the contestant is eliminated, they learn the truth about the show and see a video montage of their bad behavior during the competition.

Presumably, they'll all emerge chastened and vow to be better people once they return to civilian life. Not. The winner -- the person who's really hot but also, like, super-nice -- gets a cash prize and a spot in People's "100 Most Beautiful" issue. The reality… their outward beauty will continue to be played up for posterity.

And, guess who was announced the winner of this first season? Julia Anderson, a former pageant queen, and magician’s assistant, who was once stripped of her pageant title for public drunkenness.

So, in light of our formerly inebriated beauty queen winning the show, does the truth still remain that a physically attractive person will always be emblematic of a healthy person, a pleasant person, a well-educated person and a virtuous person?

Colis Baker, 17, agrees that there is inherent validity and that we actually all make these judgment calls at first glance.

“When you first meet someone like I’m meeting you, physical appearance does count,” she said. “You can’t carry yourself like a bum on the street.”