So, like, I have this one friend-let's call him Dude-who edifies me.
Calm down, now. No
romance at all here.
Dude is just, I
dunno, DEEP yet ORGANIC. He stands out among the throngs of saved young adults
who compete or seek status or are over-entertained or, bottom line, remain
lukewarm. Dude is an oasis of meek servant leadership. He goes about his life
pouring love on people like Niagara Falls, all to big up the Messiah. Day in
and day out, he embraces the homeless, the poor, hurting children, single moms
and other underdogs. And since he loathes any fuss, Dude is easily dismissed.
Don't get me wrong; he knows his identity in Christ. Yet, it's not until one
picks his brain that they discover Dude is pretty amazing-lock stock and
barrel.
Yup.
Dude's a pretty amazing peon.
No one wants to be a NoBody anymore. Sure, craving clout isn't a new phenomenon. Even the disciples sought to be stunnas. They wondered who would eventually become the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven, or in other words, who was the mover and shaker of the posse (Matt. 18:1). In his signature tongue-in-cheek style, Christ flipped the script when he pulled a child to him and replied, "unless you become like children, you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest..." (Matt. 18:3). God is always a step ahead of our shenanigans.
But I can't browbeat too much, lest I come off as someone who hasn't yearned for shine...a platform...a soapbox...a ministry. I'll admit that I've been where the disciples were; I'll confess that there were times in my walk when I wanted to be SOMEBODY. So drunk with self-image was I, that God had to sober me.
It's as if He shut me up before I could speak. I see now that I'm so unqualified to preach, teach or serve unless I have God's anointing. Without the Holy Spirit, I'm a fumbling idiot. Plus, He schooled me that ministry entails a daily walk, not some mystical, ethereal performance.
Let me explain further: In 2002, I yearned to join the ranks of deliciously-successful Christian novelists like Victoria Christopher Murray and devotional geniuses like Max Lucado. I was even about to enroll in the Christian Writer's Guild and planned to attend Christian writing conferences. I read several Christian books and thought, "I could run circles all around this author!" I, Ana, was ready to dive into writing like Michael Phelpsin China back in'08. Oh, I hadmy book titles and all.
God pumped the brakes, though, and purged some things out of me. He took away sexual impurities and yokes. He urged me to graduate from sleepy, bedside prayers to fervent communion. He opened up His Word to the point where mundane childhood biblical stories became captivating messages.God worked on my identity so that I could stop being follow-fashion. He cleaned my critical heart, made me a giver, coached me on submitting to my pastors, and trained me to balance church life with practical life. Above all, He made me serve in rugged places like prisons, migrant worker farms, homeless tent cities and that sort of stuff. Talk about unglamorous...I was no Kimora and there was no fabulousity in this season. God eventually replaced a womanish, know-it-all heart and inserted a thorough NoBody spirit. In short, I was delivered from church superstardom.
I started to write only when I finally had nothing to prove and no one
to impress. There was an opportunity to become a part of NEWD magazine. I
prayed, felt peace, and shot the editor a blurb. So here we are some 18 months
after the magazine's launch. NEWD is now receiving a redesign.
Simultaneously, NEWD's radio arm is blossoming as well. The MRYS and Soul
Movement Crew family continues to do big things for Jesus.
Each time I submit a column I
gush to Tiff, NEWD's editor and founder, that I'm so grateful for this
opportunity. I realize that it's nothing I do so well, but that God finally
released me. Believe me, I never want to get cozy and slack in "speaking" to
all of you out there in NEWD audience land.
If you struggle with pride or an obsession
with image, forget the shine. Know that God will sanctify you once you ask Him
to create in you a clean heart and renew your spirit. Figure out what your
corner of the world is and humbly get busy revolutionizing it through God's
power, with God's provision and in God's timing. Despite what the American
Dream may dictate, God's formula states that only Losers win and receive
crowns.
Be amazing peons for Jesus today, y'all.