I've been to enough marriage retreats and conferences that I feel like I'm an expert at this point in my life. I can probably host one myself given the amount of knowledge I've accrued and how much my wife loves these spousal events. No joke. So, I was skeptical before attending this past weekend's Real Marriage conference hosted by Pastor Mark Driscoll.

Several months ago, a Facebook friend of mine posted a quote by Mark Driscoll. At first read, I was like "What? That's not even biblical!" In fact, I said as much when I posted my comment on the subject. I don't remember exactly what it was but it stirred a reaction from me.

Fast forward to now. My wife is wanting to go to another conference and I reluctantly obliged. It was her "turn" for something she likes. I love knowledge but I honestly thought, "What the heck else can I learn about marriage?

We had a difficult year in 2011 that stretched our faith and marriage to its limits, but we're fine. We've never had an issue that was serious enough to constrain us to go to counseling or intensive marriage conferences like other couples do. Much less one hosted by "controversial" Pastor Mark Driscoll - "the sex pastor," as he's often dubbed. So, it piqued my interest and I wasn't going to say no to my wife anyway.

When we arrived at the conference held at my home church, Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale, the parking lots were flooded with cars. I had to park on the grass and, if you've ever been to the church, that means it's pretty packed and the police must exercise mercy with all the parking violations. Lots of couples were anticipating this event. We had missed worship (I hate that) but we got there just in time for the introduction of Driscoll.

Mark Driscoll struck me as a typical public speaker. Well dressed, groomed, in good shape, clean cut and sharp. His mannerisms and scripted speech spoke "LIFE COACH" to me like many other famous speakers. There was one difference, though; he spoke truth. And he spoke it in a HEE-larious way. I was laughing for 2 ½ hours.

The first day of the conference - the Friday night - emphasized the friendship aspect of a marriage. We have that nailed down because my wife and I were friends for the first two years we knew each other. We eventually became best friends and so this wasn't foreign to us. Sadly, there are many couples who don't have that foundation so when the honeymoon period wears off it's like a bucket of cold mud.

Pastor Mark would go on to teach us about having a face to face marriage as opposed to a back-to-back one (hostile) and side-to-side one (business as usual approach). He even taught us HOW to fight as couples.

How NOT to Fight

• Criticize the person rather than the problem
• Carry contempt rooted in disgust
• Be defensive and unrepentant
• Stonewall (shut down and leave)

How to Fight

• Understand sin
• Practice repentance
• Practice forgiveness
• Lay ground rules before you fight such as 1) did your spouse sin or did he/she make a mistake? 2) how do we avoid fight, flight or fright? 3) are you or your spouse affected by substance? 4) pray before, during or after? 5) are you releasing frustration? 6) if you cannot agree, should we let it go or see a counselor?

Beyond the nuggets of wisdom he poured out, his delivery offered punch line after punch line which made these basic truths much more palatable.

What I loved most about Driscoll's style was his practicality, frankness and shoot-from-the-hip way of communication. He didn't hold back and that was a breath of fresh air. He went as far as to think outside the box and have a poet perform some spoken word for the sanctuary.

Sometimes we can use a verbal slapping around. Our church is a passionate one and you hear a lot of "Woos!" after worship but, for the most part, there isn't a whole lot of hootin' and hollerin' DURING a sermon although we are VERY diverse in culture. So Driscoll's tell-it-like-it-is approach was very much welcomed in our usually reserved worship services. Especially when it came to the subject of sex.

On the second day, Driscoll would agree that it was the day everyone else was looking forward to. It was the subject of marital sex -- his supposed expertise. He's not an expert. He's just a pastor who's willing to speak on what no other pastors are willing to speak on.

Too few churches are unwilling to teach on the matter Biblically and so Satan has no qualms about filling the voids left by the prudes. If the church won't teach it, then Lady Gaga will.

If the first day had us laughing, the second day had us rolling. This must have been typical Driscoll at his best because this is where he let loose a diatribe on all of the church taboos. Some of our friends said that it wasn't even close to his YouTube videos, so, of course, I'm curious about those, as well.

He dug down deep into what we considered sex to be. Was it an idol that could have been rooted in pornography and a history of promiscuity? Was it something disgusting from a traumatic experience such as rape or religious superstitions? Other lessons encouraged us to DO IT! Do it a lot! Enjoy it! He pleaded with us to be unselfish and servant-minded. Funny true stories one after another. It is all Biblical, he taught. God didn't create Adam and Eve and then was shocked to find them droppin' it like it was hot. Sex was a gift God gave to spouses and he's even given us a how-to book in the Songs of Solomon!

Then, the kicker. Driscoll invited a couple onto the stage whom he had apparently heard the testimony of. The couple had been separated for a year and had just reunited 10 days ago. They were going to renew their vows in front of the audience. The husband would repeat a poem he read at their first marriage ceremony. That drew a few tears from every female. The wife would then say her vows BY HEART. She had brought them with her but didn't look at her paper at any moment. 

She would then pour her heart completely inside out and confess her sin, repent, bare her broken heart in front of everyone and sincerely espouse the virtues of her amazingly humble husband.

It was a made-for-TV moment. This was the perfect ending to the conference. The wife's vows had DUDES CRYING! It was surreal and you could feel this woman's contrite heart. I have no doubt that the Lord Jesus had, at the very moment, completely delivered her, healed their relationship and lifted their spirits as she uttered every remorseful word from her soul.

Mark Driscoll is only controversial in that he stands for blunt truth.

In one Q&A moment, he frankly remarked that one particular question on the screen was a "dumb question from a stupid man." He would beseech men to "get a job and get a 2^nd and 3^rd job if one is not enough!" Even my Pastor, Bob Coy, has recently faced scrutiny for inviting Pastor Driscoll to speak, which I find to be extreme nonsense.

Driscoll, himself, has made some comments that he's repented of and has regretted, yet legalistic do-gooders nitpick these comments from cyberspace and bring them up again. 

Me? I love preachers who do not beat around the bush. Somebody's gotta say it! Unless one is as thin-skinned as a grape, it's all based on biblical truth. This is straight from God and if you're only beef is the delivery, then find a conference hosted by the Cabbage Patch Dolls.

This conference was powerful and completely spirit-filled. Ironically, in this atmosphere, there were couples arguing and being distant from each other. It's a crisis we should all pray for. Holy matrimony is dying a rapid death in this generation. 

If the enemy can destroy marriages, he can destroy families, then

communities, and then nations. It's a reality we must face.

Our only "complaint" was that the conference was too short and it would actually be perfect if we set it as a marriage retreat on Marco Island or some exotic place for couples looking to re-honeymoon. But that's asking for perfection.

Other than that, you can say I'm now a "fan" of Mark Driscoll. I would rather correct you and say I'm a fan of The Truth.

The self-proclaimed Zig Ziglar of rap, Billy Delgado, is a Music Producer/Artist and Writer by day and sleeping pillow-drooler by night. He is currently producing the debut album for his band The 288's, a God-inspired Hip Hop/R&B group that combines soul-baring lyricism with an electric innovative sound, breaking from the norm and reaching all cultures & ages (save senior citizens). He still can't believe he's a family man with a beautiful wife Mari & three boys Chris, Nelson and Joshua, so he continues to pinch himself silly to this day.