We all want to be used by God, I guess. Some of us want Him to use us to save the world - which He can do. Some of us think on a smaller scale. But most people who desire any connection with God, just want to be good instruments. As we should.

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay [NKJV: earthen vessels] to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us."

2 Corinthians 4:7 NIV

Often times this desire to be of use to the Kingdom somehow sparks a series of self-questioning and second guessing. After all, we are so imperfect. We are such human human beings. Can God really encourage, inspire and bless when He's got such poor tools to work with? Yet, God can and does use our limitations and struggles. Not only to better ourselves, but others. The Bible depicts a few such 'defective' individuals.

Moses

Even if you've never actually read the story of Moses in the Bible, you've probably seen the 1956 movie The Ten Commandments with Charlton Heston (if you haven't done either, then c'mon! Pull out your Bible tonight and go to Netflix online in the morning!).

In Exodus, we learn that Moses' life started out rough. As one of the Hebrews or Israelites, the group of people enslaved by the Egyptians, he narrowly escaped death as a baby. Then, as luck (no, as GOD) would have it, he grew up in the palace of Pharaoh where he was raised as if he were a prince. Later on, as a man, in a fit a rage (some would say justified) he killed an Egyptian he saw beating another Hebrew, a slave. Soon after, his crime was thrown back in his face when he tried to bring peace between two Hebrews who were fighting. When Pharaoh heard, Moses ran away, in fear for his life. Skip ahead a couple chapters, and we find that God used him to deliver the Hebrew slaves from Egypt.

So Moses was a slave, a murderer, a coward, and had some serious insecurities/misgivings about his call from God. Not really the makings of success, I would think. Most people, having been dealt or having dealt themselves, such cards, would never even dream of being of use to God. But this is the kind of person God saw fit to operate in and through, to accomplish the work of His Kingdom. A nation of people was released from the bonds of slavery through such a seemingly faulty, unremarkable person.

David

King David was specifically chosen by God to rule the people of Israel (Read 1 Samuel specifically beginning at chapter 16). The youngest of eight sons, he was overlooked when the Prophet Samuel came searching for the young man he was to anoint as king. Now, he is often referred to as the apple of God's eye, one who is favored and deeply loved. We even find that Jesus came through the lineage of David.

We know about David's major screw-ups. He was an adulterer, stealing the wife of Uriah, a soldier in Israel's army, while Uriah was away fighting. Then, he ordered Uriah to go to the front lines and for his fellow soldiers to back away, leaving him vulnerable. Uriah, of course, died. (There's plenty of other soap opera worthy drama there, if you take time to read the story.)

Adulterer, murderer, yet, apple of God's eye? Doesn't seem to go together at all. Despite feelings of deep regret and remorse, David still had to suffer the consequences of his sin, and his sin was serious. Despite all of that, he was so deeply loved and so highly favored of the Lord. A man who's relationship with God can be emulated (of course in only some ways!).

But again, why did God choose to use a person like this? I'm sure there were far more consistently righteous men that could've gotten the job done just as well. Can we presume to know the mind of God? Certainly not. He makes Himself very clear:

" 'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,' says the LORD. 'For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts. For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven, and do not return there, but water the earth, and make it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall My word be that goes forth from my mouth; it shall not return to me void, but it shall accomplish what I please, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.' "

Isaiah 55:8-11

There are so many more people other than David and Moses. Look at Adam and Eve, Abraham and Sarah, Sampson, etc. Still not 100% sure of the 'why' behind His use of the so heavily flawed, but I see the benefits of it. If God could use people such as these, then why can't He use you and I? None of us, if we truly desire to walk with him, is too far beyond usefulness to Him and the Kingdom. Was He giving us an excuse to abuse grace? Of course not (see Romans 6:15). However, by His grace, we know that He will use anyone. God isn't afraid to get His hands dirty and turn a lump of coal or two into a couple sparkling diamonds, for the glory of His Kingdom, His name.

My prayer for us is that God won't allow us to get so wrapped up in self-condemnation and what we think the perfect soldier for His army should look like, that we end up making ourselves unavailable to His call. Yes, He has high standards that He expects us to strive for; there is no leeway in that. But I will still bear in mind that there is no condition that I can find myself in that He can't work through to bring me to where I need to be.

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Romans 8:38, 39

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

1 John 1:9

We've just got to continue to pour, and make ourselves available. I heard a long-time pastor of mine say that we must basically be cups with holes in the bottom, always releasing what we collect. Although we are prepared to be filled, we cannot hoard; we have to be ready and constantly willing to pour out our lessons and blessings on others. There is nothing you are given or are allowed to go through that is for the sake of your life alone. It is our responsibility, our God-given duty, to use what we have on others. Just as what others have, has been used on us. Your imperfections are not to keep you away from the Kingdom, but are to pull you toward it.

Shari Grant is a Registered Nurse in South Florida, where she was raised in a (very!) Jamaican home. Some of the loves of her life are words (both reading and writing them) and missions work. She enjoys spending time with friends and family while living for a good laugh - one that makes her belly ache and her eyes water. Her bottom line goal in life is to make the Lord smile and maybe even serve Him up a chuckle from time to time, too.