So, I’m a huuuuuge fan of Switched at Birth. Okay, yes, ABC Family shows aren’t all a load of crap. This show is actually my gateway into a culture, a way of seeing the world, and a way of life of which I’ve not had the pleasure of being a member.

No, it’s not the world of mixed up babies (although that is one part of the storyline). I’m talking about the world of deafness. I now know that deaf people can drive cars, are whizzes at lip reading (something CIA spies spend years getting good at) and can be talented musicians, if they put their minds to it. So, I’ve been hooked for four seasons now.

Many times, the teenagers on the show get into some really sticky situations that annoy me. Remember my column about the super-Christian girl who met the barely religious Toby on the show. Yeah, that relationship failed, just as I predicted it would.

Now, 18-year-old Bay Kennish, is the center of a huge fracas.

Poor little quippy, sass-mouthing, ‘Miss Independent’ Bay has had accidental sex with a local college guy whom she used to date -- all while her boyfriend Emmett is away at film school in Los Angeles.

She’s a ball of regret because she can’t quite remember how something like this could have happened and is now crying about it to her siblings, friends and parents. 

She even confronted Tank – the college guy whom she had sex with – about why he would have allowed it to happen. As a note, Tank is an upstanding guy who has been Bay’s shoulder to lean on for two seasons, who cut ties with his idiotic fraternity due to their sexist practices which upset Bay, and who bounced back to a friendship with Bay after she cheated on him. All around good guy!

So, why would Bay cry rape on Tank? Why would Bay’s mom claim she did nothing wrong when Bay -- her clearly underage daughter was chugalugging at a dorm party and fell asleep with her ex-boyfriend in some strange dorm room? Simple. Our culture doesn’t know when to lay the blame of date rape on a woman. They’ve been duped.

So, I’m here to school you. Ladies, here are 4 reasons for when date rape is your fault:

1. You’re Intoxicated – If you’re under the influence of alcohol, then your credibility is shot in my eyes. As in the case of Bay, she has had to piece together the events of the night by talking to friends who saw her at the party. She can’t remember stumbling into a stranger’s dorm room, laying down with Tank, kissing, disrobing or doing the deed. Of course not! She was a drunken mess. That’s no one’s fault but your own, boo boo!

2. If he’s Intoxicated, too! – So, if you’re drinking and he’s drinking, then who’s the designated critical thinker? Yeah. You didn’t think about that - did you, Bay? Tank, as I said, is a genuinely good guy! He’s not the type to assault a woman, especially not one with whom he used to be in a relationship. But, any man who’s in a drunken stupor, cannot be trusted.

Regardless of his penchant to serve and protect his lady while sober, the man’s will is compromised if he’s drunk. Do not expect him to restrain himself if you’re both lying next to one another in la-la land! Note to self: do not hang out with a guy who’s too drunk to protect you from harm.

3. You're Acting Like You’re Miss Independent But Then You're Not BEING it – One of my friends offered me a great analogy for women today. He said, “they’re the type to want to drive the car, get into an accident then jump into the passenger seat.” My sentiments exactly! Why won’t an independent woman retain her independence when these “uh oh” moments happen? It’s annoying. If you claim to know what you’re doing and you make certain decisions in a moment, keep your big girl panties on! Don’t drop them at the sign of trouble.

Claim responsibility for a stupid act rather than blame it on a man who should NOT have more responsibility than you for what happened in the situation. All of Bay’s decisions up until the point of penetration were hers. Tank didn’t force her to down Vodka shots or get into bed with him. Albeit, the alcohol was the driving force behind her decision, it was still hers to make.

4. You're dressing and behaving like You’re Asking for It – If you’re dressed flirty and acting flirty, then don’t be surprised if he goes for it. Tank recounted the night he and Bay had sex: he claimed she was telling him how awesome he was, stroking his arm and making doubtful remarks about her new long-distance relationship. Bay was obviously flirting and it didn’t matter that she was tipsy. She was behaving like a woman who wanted sex. Now, even though Bay wasn’t guilty of the flirty outfit (she was clad in jeans and a blouse), may women who cry rape are.

Thus, I have a few choice words for you. Your body language speaks volumes! With your “freakum” dress and stilettos, you are low-hanging fruit to any man. I mean, how can a guy give a woman respect, if she’s not clothed her body in a way that demands it? Your cleavage-lifting blouse, your mini-skirt, or your bare midriff top leaves very little barrier between your “parts” and his!

So, while society seems to have bamboozled us into believing that date rape is perpetrated by a hormone-crazed frat guy who will take it from a woman even if she says “No,” I’d like each woman to examine herself first. Ladies, determine if you’ve perpetrated any of these four crimes against him. If so, I say this in hopes of empowering you past the falsehood which society has fed you -- it’s YOUR fault.

Switched at Birth airs on Tuesdays at 9/8c on ABC Family.