Recently, I
discovered that I’m a decent public speaker.
I disclose
this fact not to glorify my so-called
talent, but instead to demonstrate how God sees beyond our nervousness or insignificant
hang-ups. He wants to radically use us in order to share the beautiful,
timeless message of Jesus Christ.
First, we
need to get over ourselves. I’ll speak for myself. I need to suck it up and
simply recognize that the discomfort of unfamiliarity is not nearly as
burdensome as the pain of disobeying God’s direction for my life.
Truth is,
it’s very unlike me to embrace something like public speaking. I’m not shy, yet
I don’t like being in the forefront. I’m a reserved, behind-the-scenes type of worker.
So much so that, unlike many folks, I thrive while working under strong-willed,
impulsive and even disorganized leaders—since most of them are visionaries. I’m
an action-oriented person who zeroes in on details and can move a project from
idea to reality.
Lately,
though, God’s been flipping the script.
Not only has
He been dropping ideas into my Heart, but He’s also been calling me to become
bolder and begin to publicly share some of the words He whispers to me. This change
blasts my comfort zone to pieces; it completely places me in a foreign land.
I have to
rely on Him now more than ever. I don’t know what I’m doing, really. Am I even
allowed to admit that? I feel like Paul when he wrote, “And [Christ] said to me, My grace is sufficient for you: for my strength is made perfect
in weakness” (2
Corinthians 12:9).
Ben Armendt, a pastor and blogger, put it best when he
shared this:
…most
of us walk the line between passion and peacefulness. We play it too
safe because we fear failure and criticism. I think most of us wake up every day with the
goal of not looking bad or
bringing unwelcomed attention to
ourselves…That's just how influence works...
It comes with the price of personal
unrest. In almost every endeavor
I go after, there is always a
moment when I have tremendous
regret. It's always that moment when
I've gone too far to turn back, and there's absolutely no assurance of success. I start cursing my holy discontentment,
my entrepreneurial nature, and I kick myself for being naive, calling it faith.
And then God does something amazing, and
I go do it all over again.
I
have faith that God has me covered as I attempt to dream, speak and lead more.
Forget my agenda. Never mind my image. My youth is not a factor. And who cares
about my coziness? It’s more important to Him that I’m a “step out of the boat”
and not a “don’t rock the boat” type of Christian.