Lately, folks have been asking me when I'm going to just stop playing around, settle down and get married. And in case you're wondering: yup, some have asked JUST like that, too. No kidding. I know some pretty blunt people.

Well-intending though they are, I chuckle at my loved ones' misguided advice. My bestie, mom, uncles, co-workers...Don't get me wrong; I'm not offended or embarrassed...and if I were, I probably wouldn't broadcast it here. I mean it from the bottom of my heart when I say that I'm not insecure about my singlehood, nor am I in a frenzy to leap out of it. It's just that I'm amused at the image of single Christians being directionless, footloose and fancy free.

Settle down. Settle down?

For one, living single and living aimlessly are not one and the same. I know several single brothers and sisters in the Lord whose "grounds stay tight,' as NeNe Leakes put it last week on Real Housewives of Atlanta, and are busy doing life for God's glory. For another, it's not as though singles can put down their status...swiftly and efficiently replacing it with matrimony...when they tire of it. In theory, why, yes...we can. But, in practice, that's playing God. Love takes time, as Mariah once belted.

And as I approach 30 this year, it seems the marriage questions are upping from trickles to torrents. Let's not even add that Valentine's Day is on the brink nor that I'm in 3 weddings this year...of which I'm blessed and thrilled to be the maid of honor in two.

It's time now that I craft a viable response...so, I suppose that's what I'm doing here. Not that everyone who asks will even get a response, but for those with whom I'm close enough to share with (evidently, folks like YOU) I'll say something like this:

As I was journaling one day, the word DESIRE dropped in my spirit. Later, the scripture "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart" seemed to swirl in the atmosphere. DESIRE. I know what I want, the life I want and the life that I would like to dedicate to Christ. I know that my life won't be heartache-free, but I'm intent on making it purposeful. I think that's what Jesus demonstrated and wants. Marrying the right man--that one that God matches me with--is intertwined with my life's story. While I have a DESIRE to wed, I also have a DESIRE to not screw this up. I'll wait as long as it takes to get it right.

Now, I'm not trying to romanticize or glamorize singleness. It can be a gloomy chore some days; other times, it's downright convenient. Singleness, like marriage, needs to be honed. The 3 M's--meeting, marrying, mating--are on my radar, but right now I'm single by choice, not circumstance. Life is delicious. And when I'm married I'll put just as much expediency and passion into being a happily married woman as I do into being a happily single one. I DESIRE the life more abundantly that Christ spoke of, no matter my state.

Finally, my singleness is guided by a picture of what my God-ordained marriage will be like:

Marriage is ministry.
Love is ministry.

Love is when you love him so well that he, in turn, spoils you well
Love is patient, love is kind
Love is when you can go days without a long conversation--perhaps because of busyness or tending to the kids--but somehow...someway...telepathically, maybe...you still communicate well
Love is when you find yourself thinking critically because he keeps you on your toes
Love is when you admire his walk with God
Love is public compliments
Love is private correction
Love does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud
Love is being his wife but feeling like his girlfriend
Love is organic...no fertilizer, no machinery...it just grows
Love is when you're not certain you'd marry another, in the event that you're widowed
Love is action
Love continues to submit because you knew before marrying him that he was submission material
Love doesn't need a major motion picture or a Taylor Swift/Alicia Keys duet or a holiday to be love
Favors and loans don't exist when you love...

Love is profound respect for that man
Love is mustering interest in his interest, even when you feel you lack interest;
it's not feigning...it's effort
Love is when God adds His super to your natural
Love is quality time spent offering quality listening while enjoying a quality activity
Love does not dishonor, it is not self-seeking; it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs
Love is rolling over to quench his thirst late at night, knowing that if you don't some sex kitten will
Love is letting a curse word slip in moments of venting because...well...you know you're safe
Love is when you want to embark in Kingdom work beside him
Love is knowing that it's laughable to think you can punish him by withholding sex
Love is when the two of you can contract together in the work of building good, Godly kids
Love is not caring whether he sees you as a Christian good girl, so long as he knows you're real
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth
Love is laying hands on him and speaking over his life while he sleeps
Love is not promising him that you'll be a perpetual size 2, but that you'll always be
alluring and irresistible
Love makes submission sexy, not demeaning
Love is a spirit of excellence
Love is a savory meal
Oh, she may walk in silence but a woman's love is loud...

Love is when his anointing is attractive; his calling, captivating
Love is being a bride for a day, but a wife for life
Love is grown
Love is understanding that the lull times don't equate to troubled times, but that marriages have seasons
Love is grabbing his Red Stripe and rooting for his team
Love is radical goodness
Love was ensuring him that if he waited 'til marriage, your body would be his wonderland
Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres
Love is getting your money straight so that stress doesn't strain your home
Love is knowing who you are while knowing you're better you because of him
Love is him recognizing that he was asleep and lacking a rib
Love never fails
Love is not what's on TV
Love is giving yourself a time out before you say something sarcastic

Love is a home where laughter rings, scripture is spoken and celebration is palpable

Love is finding every opportunity to paint that man as a hero, not a boy, in his children's eyes
Love is abandoning the scorecard
Even if you love sex, have had lots of it or are good at it, love is not sex

Love is sharing the workload so that the home is a sanctuary and buffer from the world
Love is not having to yell to set him straight
Love is praying together on your knees (it seems believers don't pray on their knees anymore)
Love is not a wedding; it's matrimony
Love is knowing that there's a time and place for the raunchy gear
the time: his moment; the place: his arms

Love is recognizing what's argument-worthy and what's not
Love is not being a delicate, frail flower...but not being a cactus either
Love is knowing that loving that man is a dimension of your purpose-driven life and should you divorce it's 'cause he was the idiot

Love is being too classy to get even
Love is a proactive love--not a gimmick nor soap opera or a Danielle Steel book
When you love each other, phrases like "It's no biggy..." "My bad..." and "At your service..." are on the tip of your tongues...
And when these three are left-faith, hope and love-the greatest is love

Marriage is ministry.
Love is ministry.

*for the purposes of this column, I define "single" (whether courting, dating occasionally or not at all) as adults who upholda Biblical, celibate lifestyle

Ana Guthrie is a super cool chick with a heart for God and love for youth culture. She doubles as a not-so-naughty librarian and instructor at Florida Memorial University in Miami, Florida.