The mind that truly aims to understand submission cannot be a narrow one. It’s an expansive topic that reaches into more areas of life than simply marriage. Submission to authority/government, submission to one another, and ultimately, submission to God are part of the standard. Christ even goes as far as to show us examples of this in the Word. We see Christ’s submission to God the Father, and the use of the metaphor of the church being the "bride of Christ” (that’s a whole other story). He isn’t expecting from us something He was not humble enough to do Himself.

Submission in Marriage

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is the head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husband, love you wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her…”

- Ephesians 5:22-25

"Wives, likewise be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives...”

- 1 Peter 3:1

God calls both partners to bend and subject their will to that of someone else. Husbands are required to love their wives as Christ loved the church. And what did Christ do for the body (of believers)? He subjected Himself to the will of His covering – God the Father – and gave up His life for His ‘bride.’ Though His bride was flawed and would not always love Him wholeheartedly, He still gave up everything. His love for the body was great, as was His desire to submit to His ‘head.’ He cherishes us and is protective of us – exactly how He expects a husband to be with a wife.

Wives are also told to submit to their husbands, even if they aren’t believers. We (hopefully) love God enough to acknowledge His "final say” whether we like what He has to say or not. From the little decisions like deciding where to go on vacation this year or what color to paint the house to the big issues like disciplining your children or choosing your home church, we can’t be afraid of the S-word.

This bending of the will is by no means an easy thing. It is not a position of weakness, but immense strength. But, in being obedient to God, we show Him how much we love Him. Submission’s bottom line isn’t about making us (husbands and/or wives) happy, but making God happy.

"Therefore submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord’s sake…Honor all people. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the King.”

-2 Peter 2:13,17

"Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities…”

-Romans 13:1

In verses like Romans 22:21, where Christ says "render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s,” it’s evident that we are expected to submit to our respective governments. In submitting to our authority, we honor God and represent Him well. By breaking laws, ‘just cuz,’ we do no favors for Christ or the gospel. ‘This little light of mine shines a bit brighter if I’m a law-abiding citizen.

Submission to Each Other

"Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is….giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another in the fear of God.”

-Ephesians 5:17, 20-21

"And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.”

-Ephesians 5:2

The Word tells us that there is not greater love than laying our lives down for a friend and that we are to love one another as Christ has loved us (John 15:13; John 13:34). This degree of love requires humility and grace. Being "submissive to one another” will lead us to a gift of grace (1 Peter 5:5). Treating others as we would like to be treated, or better still, is about sacrifice and Christ-like love. Every time we love someone enough to do this – decreasing so that He might increase (John 3:30) – we are grooming ourselves to be truer and truer reflections of the Master.

Submission to God

"Therefore submit to God.”

-James 4:7

"Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time.”

-1 Peter 5:6

Does it get any more self-explanatory than that? The Lord tells us that if we love Him, we will obey His commands (John 14:15). A lifestyle of submitting ourselves to Christ’s authority is true worship and true love. This is a constant dying to the flesh; daily picking up our cross and following Him. Telling Jesus we love Him is necessary and I believe He loves to hear it. However, when we couple that with actually subjecting our will to His, especially when it costs us something, it adds some muscle to those words.

Bottom Line

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.”

- Romans 12:1 NIV

Living Sacrifice – sounds like an oxymoron. However, as we are living, there is a death that is to take place; the laying down of our will for the sake of Christ. True submission, in every applicable sense, as God intended, is an act of worship; Wives submitting to husbands, husbands submitting to Christ, believers submitting to each other, and even our submission to authority. In this, we love Christ. Not because it’s comfortable or it feels good. But in this, we honor Christ by doing what He asked us to do. We show God we love Him by our obedience.

*endnote: I’m not suggesting that we blindly submit to anyone or anything. Ultimately, as followers of Christ, we aim to live lives that please Him. His standard is the one that we must live by. If it goes against the Word, don’t do it! God doesn’t contradict Himself, and our actions (if we are truly trying to live for Him) shouldn’t contradict His expectations and His standard.

Shari Grant is a Registered Nurse in South Florida, where she was raised in a (very!) Jamaican home. Some of the loves of her life are words (both reading and writing them) and missions work. She enjoys spending time with friends and family while living for a good laugh - one that makes her belly ache and her eyes water. Her bottom line goal in life is to make the Lord smile and maybe even serve Him up a chuckle from time to time, too.