The subject of natural hair is one that attracts much attention and generates a great deal of interest. These reactions come as a result of both the fascination with and the skepticism about this fairly new craze in the hair arena. Even men are becoming increasingly involved in the topic, and it is also not uncommon to hear the natural hair chatter in the workplace, schools and in various social settings.

There is a lot of curiosity concerning the intricacies of natural hair and that raises many questions which are usually directed toward natural hair wearers themselves. Naturals are constantly being presented with questions which are sometimes both innocent and genuine, but can come off a little rude and with some element of cynicism. The wide range of questions and the frequency with which they are asked can become quite annoying and often leaves many a natural wanting to roll their eyes.

Don’t get me wrong now, this column is not one that seeks to display prejudice against or in any way bash non-naturals as the surprising truth is that some of these very questions are asked by fellow naturals. The article is just to raise awareness and somewhat empathize with those who may be experiencing frustration from some of these questions. It is also geared at sharing some feedback that could be helpful to the questioning party and settle some issues that may have been triggering curiosity.

The questions shared below are ones that I have personally been asked, ones that have been expressed to me by naturals in past conversations and also those shared with me in a recent survey done for the purpose of gathering opinions for this article. The top eight most annoying questions that naturals get about their hair are as follows:

1. Why did you cut off your "Good Good” hair???

This is probably the first question that a natural will get after she gets rid of whatever chemical was in her hair and decides to make that big reveal. There are always mixed reactions. Some people will be happy for you but chances are others will try to make you feel bad about your decision. Regardless of the state of your hair before the big chop, you still reserve the right to do whatever you choose with it. There is a common misconception that long hair equals healthy hair, this is not always the case and there is in fact no direct correlation between the length of one’s hair and its health. Even if for argument's sake you had very long hair, that doesn’t make it "good” hair. Actually, virgin hair growing out of your scalp, be it an inch long, will always be in a healthier state than older hair that has been exposed to the elements of the environment. Cutting off older, chemically processed hair provides the ideal platform for growing longer and healthier hair if proper care and attention is given to it. There is also no theory that supports straight hair being good and kinky or curly hair being bad so that question, "Why did you cut off your good good hair?” actually shows some level of ignorance.

2. Why don’t you go back to a relaxer???

This is one that can truly irk any natural as it can come across as a subtle way of saying your natural hair doesn’t look very appealing. If the question you ask comes off as being rude, then you can best believe that the person asked is going to become annoyed. Asking such a question of a natural is like asking someone who overcame a cigarette addiction, why they don’t go back to smoking cigarettes? It is no secret that using chemicals in your hair makes it more vulnerable and susceptible to damage but studies have shown, although not conclusive, that the chemicals can actually enter the bloodstream through the pores in the scalp and lead to medical complications. While there may be no conclusive proof that it is harmful, there is also no evidence to say that it is completely safe. The fact that many doctors warn against using relaxers during pregnancy is some indication that some level of threat exists. Inviting a natural to go back to their relaxer-using ways is not something to even consider, unless of course your intention is to show that you don’t have their best interest at heart or you just choose to annoy them.

3. Why doesn’t my hair look like yours???

The beauty about mankind is that we were all created differently and we have unique traits and features that set us apart from the next person. If this wasn’t the case, then the world would lack variety and be nothing short of boring. Like all other features, the texture and pattern of natural hair varies from person to person. The thickness and density of my hair may be different from yours and the shape and tightness of the curls will vary. With that said, our natural hair will not always look like everybody else’s. Another thing to consider is that even if you share the exact structural natural hair make up as somebody else, that doesn’t automatically mean your hair will look like theirs. A big part of the appearance of natural hair is the products and processes used to style it. If the technique applied to styling your hair is different from the other person, then chances are your hair will not look like theirs. The best approach is to watch tutorial videos made by naturals that share similar hair texture to yours and apply the techniques and products used to achieve particular looks that you may be interested in. The more prudent question to ask may be, "How did you achieve that style in your hair?"

4. Is that your real hair???

I personally don’t get offended or annoyed by this question; in fact, I am more inclined to view it as a compliment. In my opinion, the fact that you are questioning the authenticity of my hair tells me that it maybe looks too good to be true. That is just my take on it. Many naturals, however, find it very offensive that someone would ask such a question. The reasoning behind their response may have to do with them interpreting it to mean that their hair looks fake. Again, for the most part, weaves are usually worn to enhance a person’s look so if my hair looks like a weave of some sort I don’t think it’s absolutely a bad thing. The question may be raised for different reasons. But whatever the reason, many naturals still get annoyed by it and would rather it not be asked.

5. Can I touch your hair???

This may very well be a follow up to the "Is that your real hair?” question. It may be a way of doing the track test to make a self-determination as to the genuineness of the hair. In such cases, that is just straight up wrong and distasteful.

There are those, however, who innocently inquire because they may have never felt natural hair or have no memory of what their hair felt like during their childhood days. It may be that they are curious because they themselves are natural and wish to determine if another person’s hair feels comparable. The request may be made innocently also by someone who is seriously considering embarking upon the natural hair journey and is overtaken by curiosity as to how their hair might feel if they do so.

6. Did you comb your hair???

It is quite obvious why this question would turn up the "annoyance meter” for naturals. No matter how thick of a skin you have or how unconcerned you usually are about people’s opinions, this one just really drives home the fact that your fro is being disrespected. I have personally had someone tell me that they want to just hold me and give my hair a good comb. Really? The truth is that not because my hair is not parted and slicked down and looks all tamed, that doesn’t mean it wasn’t combed. Many naturals love that wild, big hair look.  Strangely enough, if you were to touch their hair or try to pass a comb through it, you would realize that it is actually well-detangled and was thoroughly combed.

If you don’t like that look, then that’s O.K. but don’t insult someone else because they do. I can understand wearing that big fro or that curly wash and go, but what I don’t get is naturals just strolling down the street looking like they just rolled out of bed -- one side squished and the other side puffy, with rolls here and tangles there. That is not cute and in those instances I really get why they may be asked "Did you comb your hair?"

7. Wait a minute, did you recently cut your hair?

This question can come very often and sometimes it would seem as if you are asked the same thing every other day. One thing that we must understand about natural hair is that it is very versatile and has the ability to take on multiple personalities. Your hair can look 12 inches long today and 6 inches long tomorrow without you cutting an inch off it. That is just the nature of natural hair; it shrinks and stretches out in response to different products or processes that are applied to it. There are many different methods used to stretch natural hair and it also shrinks without you even requesting it to. Variations in the appearance of natural hair are not necessarily an indication that there was some drastic change such as cutting. There are instances where naturals do cut their hair like in the case of the "big chop." So, I guess it’s not an unreasonable question.

8. Why don’t you straighten it sometimes???

The stereotype that straight hair is more beautiful hair is a notion that has mentally crippled our black community for ages. Hollywood has painted a picture and presented an image as to what is considered beauty and it has influenced females far and wide. I recent years, there hase been a gradual paradigm shift  that has women embracing their natural curls and kinks. There are those who are still mentally enslaved by the image that is deemed to be acceptable and can’t seem to appreciate anyone who is not on the straight hair bandwagon. This often gives rise to the question of why someone doesn’t straighten their hair. Straightening hair,  first of all, is not a healthy practice and doing so on a regular basis is like committing hair suicide. Whether due to a blow dryer, a curlinh iron or a hot comb, heat damage is a beast.  In fact, the effects can be similar to or even far outweigh those of getting a relaxer or any other chemical treatment. I believe that if someone really wanted to wear their hair straight, then the question would be null and void because they would have been wearing it straight in the first place.

I know for a fact that natural hair is very complex and it is not always very easy to understand how it operates. Like it or not, there will be questions and maybe as time progresses there will be more questions. With this in mind, both parties just need to exercise some sensitivity toward the other person. Tone and body language can change the whole context of a question and this I believe is what gives rise to the overwhelming feeling of annoyance on the part of a natural. On the flip side, naturals should understand that not everyone who approaches them with a question is doing so with ill intentions. Minor adjustments in both approaches can lend for a more pleasant question and answer session.

Candie's Natural Hairnamix was birthed a few months after Jamaican native Rossette "Candie" Allen began her natural hair journey in May 2010. She gears this column toward naturals, transitioning naturals, aspiring naturals and the naturally curious, sharing experiences, expertise and experiments while celebrating emancipation from chemical slavery.